Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
