Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
