all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
