saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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