twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
