no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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