Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
