best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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