Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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