there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it was like his penis was on wheels.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
