One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
