We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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