I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
