In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
