Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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