Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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