I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
