She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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