In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
