i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
