If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
