i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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