Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
