You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
