Dude my mom stole all your condoms
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
