wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
