Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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