Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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