She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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