I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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