Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
last night I used snow as a chaser
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
