oh god the rape fog is back!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
