I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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