Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
