You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
