homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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