i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
