During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
