READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
