How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize