This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
