We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
