You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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