Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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