The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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