I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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