that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
