im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
