is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
