I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
